Finding Peace in Faith: Overcoming Deep Sadness and Embracing Growth 🌟

"For indeed, with hardship (will be) ease, indeed, with hardship (will be) ease," Al-Isyirah, Ayat 5 and 6

Last week, something happened that knocked me off my feet, and it set me back to gloomy state like Eeyore even though I'm pride myself as a domestic goddess (almost), full of grace and unwavering faith. 

It’s hard to explain the depth of sadness I’ve been feeling. It’s more than just feeling down. Imagine feeling a crushing weight on your chest, like your heart is being squeezed. A deep, suffocating sadness would envelop you, making it difficult to breathe. You'd feel helpless, paralyzed by the situation, unable to change the outcome. Your mind would race with thoughts of "what if" and "why," offering no solace nor peace. It's a feeling of utter powerlessness, where hope seems distant and unreachable. It's sadder than a divorce, sadder than leaving family or friends behind. 

My last good cry was last June. But this pain is deeper than that. I know I’m blessed, surrounded by good things, one after another, failed to lift my spirits. But this sadness is like a dark cloud that won’t go away. My kesayangan have been a great support. They remind me that only God can truly help us through tough times.

"Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah-lah hati menjadi tenteram,”

"Only with the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace." 

(Surat Ar-Ra’d, Ayat 28)

I’m holding onto these words, finding comfort in faith, and entrusting everything to Allah SWT; placing my trust in Him for all things.

And for the coping mechanism, I'm channeling all my energy into studying, preparing for exams, revving up my plans to contribute more to the community, and conducting economic research with VTEC-like focus to turbocharge my goals before hitting the 40s (or 45 max). After that, I just want to take take my chill-pill after which I hope to enjoy a well-deserved period of relaxation and clarity, peace, serenity till my last breath.

I'm alive. I’m grateful for everything, even in this darkness. I’m still here, and I’ll get through this.

And Alhamdulillah, again.