Rants and Raving: Career Crossroads

It's been a month genap since I pressed pause on the relentless corporate grind. A month of trading endless meetings for lazy mornings, of swapping spreadsheets for serene sunsets. It's a luxury I didn't realize I needed until I actually had it. For the last few days, a gentle reminder in the form of a text from one of my bosses pulled me back into the world of deadlines and deliverables asking whether I'm ready to get back to work or not.

The thing is, I'm torn between 3 options: Hospital, Med Lab, or returning to a place that feels like, home 🙄 (just because I have a soft spot for it tak tahu kenapa). Make it 4 opts as I'm in the midst of finalizing my business plan and market research and forecast. Itu nanti cerita lain. Back to the 1st 3 options. All US based. All have their perks and challenges.

I'm craving a peaceful, fulfilling life where I can contribute meaningfully tau. Ada banyak perkara yang sukar nak dibanggakan, but, when it comes to this matter, I know how workaholic I can be, how goal oriented and result driven I can be. My ex-bosses used to call me "Tukang Fikir", "My 2nd brain," and "our everything,". All my bosses tahu how I'm so into my passion, my work. After all, at the end of the day, I just want to pergi kerja, balik kerja, belajar and spend all my time (and money) with kiddos. While I wait for my "time" to come to the other side.

Kita sudah tua. Urat sudah banyak putus. I'm getting tired of office politics and dealing with people who lack empathy and honesty. I'm not really into competing or climbing the corporate ladder ke apa; not my cup of tea, but it's disheartening to see good people leave due to toxic work environments. Please make us feel safe, make me feel safe. Or is it me, or is leadership oblivious to this? Or maybe I'm not good or "level" enough to see the bigger picture? Or maybe I'm too naive? Or am just plain stup*d. Or maybe I'm too big for your boots 💁🏻‍♀guess I can't walk in your size, too small ek?

Maybe it's time for a fresh start, kan?

After all, I curated my profile and adjusted my "size" just to fit into your small box for years. And I never mentioned it. Sorry, not sorry, kalau itu masih tidak nampak, ya~ just remember till your last breath, it's your loss, not mine.

Let's continue our professional disagreement and hate for one another, shall we? Sebab better hate dari sayang. Kidding. Eh tunggu sekejap. Guess it's half true. Heartache because of hate is indeed smaller than heartache because of caring too much. K bai.

P/S: I am not upset, but rather frustrated. Yes, I do care.