Hi. Enough.

Sometime I can’t pinpoint what’s bothering me. It could be a factor of my work, my worthiness, my environment, my personal life, or even my food habits. Whatever I just said there’s one common denominator; and that’s me. I’m just going through something and I’m having one of “those” days. 

Sometime I like to minimize what I’m feeling because it really doesn’t value up to the problems other people have. I still struggle to validate my problems and I don’t know who I am when I’m not feeling uneasy. Just because what I have going on may not outweigh what you’re going through - doesn’t mean my problems doesn’t exist.

The day I lay in bed all day are my busiest days. Even though I’m not physically moving around active, the back and forth in my mind and heart tires me. It’s funny how exhausting you are more; mentally when you’re laying down. 

I’m too easily swayed. Feeling and emotions are so powerful and they can really control you – like a puppet on a string. They dominate over my actions. They can piece the words into a vocal string inside me and force it out. No recollection of consequences. They make me blunt. It’s a beautiful but scary thing. It’s a machine of blurred words that can be damaging and sometimes leave you in a state of regret.

Rest. I tell myself – let these feelings rest. Let your heart collect and package each individual emotion like a string in a jar. Pick away each feeling like a grain of sand into a jar. I can only get a clear view if I let this chaos in my heart come to a stillness. Let me pacify.  Peace. 

I close every door cause I’m sick of wanting more.